•

I don’t want my grandmother’s wedding ring
I don’t want her marriage
I am stunned when women inherit wedding rings
to carry that symbol again
I don’t know that my grandparents were in love
there is an iron name plate nailed to their front door
I have found toy guns/my father’s name printed in dust
a light up Jesus who oversees the piles of clothing
an unknown woman came to my grandfather’s funeral
I wonder who she was
I wake to clawed hooves on my pillow
yellow Plutonian death light of November and I am functioning again 

                         •
Bernadette Mayer is a Taurus
of all things an earth sign like earth
my first lover was a Scorpio who absorbed his twin in the womb
like Cronus already an old father even as a fetus
eating that little not even jelly skeleton baby alive
so then does that make him filled with more life or death?
the twin that lived I mean
and what does that make me

                         •

Vanity, I prayed to you
made a heart of hair
drank salt water
pierced my own belly button
walked behind the dive bar to make out
what will you give me back now?
maybe the blessing worked too well
as I free my car from the snow
Aphrodite is dropping rain from her cloud

                         •

After this I’ll watch Twin Peaks season two episode one
the Giant comes to Cooper
Audrey hides from her dad at One Eyed Jack’s
Bad Donna
The owls are not what they seem
Table full of donuts
Lucy smiles at Andy
Bobby kisses Shelly in the hospital
Shelly tells Bobby she loves him
Major Briggs eats huckleberry pie at the double R
Hank tells his sad love story about Norma
Bob comes back
I imagine living a life of deep harmony and knowing

                         •

In sweatpants, you? – Abbie
Abbie lives on the other side of the Cemetery
I didn’t get to talk to her that much the other night at the bar
I hope those men never get their novels published
I’d like to drown masculine fiction
sorry but I’m not drinking right now
weed only