i cried a lone there for three hours tucking my hair behind my ear, the hat looks like a little screen, soft blue hum you tell me about asking someone if they want to eat garlic cloves with you on the train. my hand brushes upwards and im thinking like, like my own private ritual the elevator doors opened up to the second floor and i immediately started crying and i just cried there for three hours i think it was a day i sent you pictures, i wanted my boots to look cool to you against the wide projection of the videos i wanted to send something cool, you thought of me and wished i could see it so im crying about the white flower and how the golden lite pushed its shadow along your kitchen wall and you in the little flames collar,  i waved my hand so the shadow went against the wall of your kitchen in golden hour im wearing the other half of my shirt as a belt, reaching against a fig tree, eating them, i ask you "did they mean "i think youre crazy" we're laughing and saying yes, leaned back and you take my finger to press the pause button on your small laptop, i point to city hall and say "thats city hall" and mary moore says theres a statue of benjamin franklin jerking off on top, i take a picture of myself crying for the first time in a month and a half, i eat seven peanut chews in the park with the running horses, the lite off the pick up truck in the grass, i just woke up from a two hour nap dream where i was texting you about some woman who hated me organizing an elaborate party for my mom in which the theme of the party was about this woman hating me, the woman corrects us, thats william penn, you fuss with my helmet and pointed at the stain glass windows of the church, me dumb, and confused, i had my hands in the small water splitting the grass, my hands in the fountain where the bird was and i got them out, is this something you could love me for, the window is beautiful, had the thought “sorry im insane” while at the same time imagining shooting a gun at the ceiling of the dinning room thinking about shooting a gun at the ceiling, laying on my back and either saying or thinking “sorry im insane” i see an email from mark, hes in florida, trying to grasp i think , i think emotions and memories are a form of trans dimensional time travel, im always thinking about the form of an apple, the shape of two cones meeting at the center, im watching the people on the screen doing ballet, i remember all the red things your cheeks, zeke glowing in the ocean at coney island, downloading pictures of horses morpheous puts on his hat, i sew a button in the shape of an apple on my apron stopping to hear the saxophone in summer listening to the cocteau twins laying in the wooden build out of your room it eventually burns the ancient giant structure for moonlight therapy catching the rain in a bucket, blue is wisdom and red is power luis said the universal soul is comprised of two parts the outside being power and the inside being wisdom im always caught by the light off the cars, we take a picture of our feet against the sunsetted sky, an entire email archive of every touched hand too much living in my phone i imagine a lake how nothing is dissimilar i mean it all makes sense, bloodlines, chemtrails , theres the soft whir of the room in back and the light always coming through in the morning its the sun and at night time the streetlight from two blocks down is like a little moon through its window the government is poisoning people so it all makes sense the magic and ungentle stories theres the hexagon and its outstretching to others but its all confusing three rocks thrown into up until unmoving water and they ripple out forever can you see it and the ripples are overlapping , thats the whole thing moving forward  like fruiting bodies its the fruiting of time thats like this, or, imagine time as the water , the essential, the rocks, theyre the events, and i think thats how it all is working is  nothing a secret , i saw it in the tv show when the blonde womans scream rings out its just like that there was a photo of me with pink hair and you wrapped around my neck our faces touched in the photograph and she had known me for about three years but never saw my room until than we reached across the small space of the bed and gently held hands, you said "i work here" i remember the first new emotion i felt in years, or, the new sensitivity to new emotions, on the top floor of the mega bus and the rain in the top and the small blanket with the watercolored red berries i feel so scared this is so important to me, and really theres  no difference, wait, the time they had me face down in the woods of the golf course i lied for years that it didnt happen and curled up on the single couch playing legend of zelda a link to the past in my rob zombie shirt from hot topic, you know its not untethered , or, not like that, i dont think tethered cant be used to describe something thats also transcended/transcending, i think it all hangs above our heads , or thats how i imagine it you know the internet or whatever, i cant really grasp too much at it, but heres how it went, from my  memory, it was raining that day and i took an early bus i was wearing ash's army boots, my black pants, and the purple windbreaker thats also sort of green and orange depending on the lighting and the way your body is turned towards it, for some reason i remember having the big red cardigan on me but i know thats not totally right, must have been another time because in the museum  when i got coffee i was complimented on the blue pullover with the little snake drawn on, i rode up the elevator to the first floor of the exhibit i was alone and took pictures of my reflection in the elevator doors like i knew something was about to happen to me and the doors opened up to the dark room with the layers of fabric and the projections and the gentle movements of people moving and shining through, i cried immediately literally instantly can you imagine me, in the near dark i was sobbing and walking through the room the projection of the sheep in the fields there was the one little corner that had a little house built and power lines and above it was the video of the woman on the train talking about light and time and i think something about , truth or thats how it felt to me im not sure i was crying and there was the soft purple cushions upstairs that you could lie down on and watch the video loop of the water and the fire and the yellow clothes on the clothing line and the outside of bodies and the inside of the bodies and the way plants are in the sun and the wind, i took a picture of my foot against the screen specifically to sent to nicholas, i felt so on fire for the entirety of earth like this is all worth it. jenny said the lake is going to be gone someday.  i spent three hours crying there i came out of the exhibit and went to the top room where cellphone service to my phone received texts he got hit by a car

Simon Wish is a chaotic good transexual who loves techno.